Spoken Word

Armor

 

I have donned this armor to cover up flesh
to hide the weakness that I have trapped within.
I’ve replaced this flaccid skin with shining steel,
in hopes that their weapons will not penetrate and somehow I might
become the warrior in whose armor I hide
I slip my foot into a boot that is six sizes to big.
and the breast plate supplied comes up to my ears,
There’s just too much empty space that I can’t fill.
I hoped that this armor would make me complete,
but it only shows how small I truly am.
It only shows that I am not who I want to be.
I am but a child who stepped into this facade of steel
that promised protection, that promised strength
but it only seems to be making it harder to breathe.
The weight bears down against me;
It clatters like chains dragging on the floor
that I am trying to break free from.
But the only way to break free from chains
is to simply take them off.
For what good is strength if it only leaves you paralyzed?
What good is protection if means you are trapped?
So I remove each piece,
finding freedom with each vulnerability.
Once again, I make visible my penetrable skin.
No, I am not the warrior this task requires,
but still I go forth.

Ramblings · Watercolor

Stained Glass Window (Concept)

One of the things I love about my school (shoutout to DTS) is it’s love of the arts. As is typical in most graduate schools, we turn in a final paper in almost every class. However, at DTS we are given the option to pursue and use our creative talents as well. In the past, I’ve written a song (Battlecry) and some of my friends have made movies. This semester, when taking a class on the trinity, I decided to come up with my own Stained Glass Window (Concept) for the Trinity.

Typically in the past, we’ve used symbols like triangles or 3 leaf clovers to explain the Trinity. That’s how I explained the Trinity for years, especially to all the kids I’ve taught. But by the grace of God, I learned a lot this semester about how the 3 persons in the Trinity function and relate to one another. I learned their distinct and similar roles. And guys, let me tell you: The Lord is so much more beautiful than I ever thought. Because the Lord is 3 in 1, it changes everything for us. The Father did not make us because He needed us, for surely He had the Spirit and the Son before time began. Because of the Son, the Father has always been the Father. His character is not dependent on us. And because He is not dependent on us for anything, He is free to love us unconditionally.

I’m rambling now (and I don’t even know if what I said even made sense) but on side not: If you’re interested in learning about the beauty of the Trinity, I recommend this book. “Delighting in the Trinity” by Michael Reeves. It changed everything about how I view God in less than 100 pages. He is so glorious, more loving, and more wonderful than I could ever and will ever be able to grasp.

Anyways, back to the Stained Glass (Concept) which is really just sharpie and watercolor. One of the most basic things I learned is that the Triangle is not a good picture of the 3 persons relationships. In short, the Son is the Father and the Spirit proceeds from the Father and the Son. With that in mind, I wanted to reflect that in my piece, while displaying each of the persons’ unique roles and characteristics.So, I began drawing a circle that would encompass the Father, while drawing another circle inside of that for the Son. stained glass trinity

 

I then drew rays coming out of both circles that would portray the Spirit proceeding from both the Father and the Son. In each person, I incorporated yellow and orange sunlight, to create a pattern found in each so as to show that all are of the same nature and are equal with one another. I thought it appropriate to use yellow and orange sunlight because the Lord is described in Revelation as being the light of heaven.

     Within the the circle of the Father, the focal point is the hand extending down, which is actually a symbol used in the early church to denote the Father as our Creator. I originally had the hand painted a light brown, but I began to war within myself about what color the Father’s hand should actually be. I decided to make his hand of combination of all races, since we are all made in His image. Around the Father’s hand, I have pictures of His creation. The ocean, symbolizing the depth and mystery of who He is. The mountains, symbolizing his majesty. And the tree, for He is mighty. One side of the Tree is filled with greenery, for it is He who bestows blessing. The other side is barren, for He also brings punishment to the wicked. Beneath His hand, there is a scepter, for He is the Sovereign Ruler of all. The gavel speaks to the Father being the Lord Chief Justice and Law-Giver, who establishes what is right and wrong. Within the hand of the Father is a key, which I used to symbolize the Father as our Loving Reconciler, who established our plan of redemption before the ages of the world. Beneath the Scepter, is the Alpha and Omega sign.

     Next we come to the circle for Christ. In the center, we find another symbol used by the early church, the spotless lamb holding a cross, symbolizing Christ as the spotless and perfect atoning sacrifice for the sins of the world. But on that cross hangs a crown, for Christ was victorious over our sins and our death, and He overcame both for us. Behind the lamb, we see the yellow and orange rays of light previously talks about. The rays of light here, are vertical, portraying Jesus,full God, as having descended down from heaven. The bread and the wine beside the lamb symbolizing that Christ is also fully man, the bread symbolizing his body, and his blood the wine. The water from the Father’s circle is carried over to the Son’s circle so as to show that not only is the Son in the Father, but the Father in the Son. Also to the sides of the Lamb, we have the Word, Christ being the Word of God and the revelation of his mysteries. The verses mentioned are John 1:1 and John 14:6-11, the former showing Christ to be the Word, while the latter showing Christ to be the Way, the Truth, and the Life.

     Lastly, we come to the Spirit who proceeds from the Father and the Son inside of any who would call of the name of Christ for Salvation and found in the bottom picture, with the flame and the people.  The butterfly denotes the new life that the Spirit imparts. The prayer hands symbolize that the Spirit is our Mediator, who intercedes for us before the Father. Above this, we find a picture of a seal, for Paul describes the Holy Spirit as the Seal of our redemption. Above this, we come to the picture of a hammer and chisel, symbolizing the Spirit as our Sanctifier. Above this at the very top, we find the Dove which is the only visual picture we find in Scripture.

     Around all three, I wrote the words “Holy, Holy, Holy” based of Isaiah 6, surrounded by colors of blue reflecting the majesty and power of the One who is seated on throne and worthy of our ultimate worship.

I’m not gonna lie to you. Painting and designing this piece was incredibly stressful, not only because it encompassed 30% of my grade, but because I didn’t want to get it wrong. The Lord is so beautifully complex, and His ways are so much higher than my mind can fathom. Still, I know He is pleased with my feeble attempts to learn and explain  who He is through art.

I’d love your feedback! What would you change or do differently? What stood out to you?

Ramblings · Watercolor

Coloring Christmas

Remember when I tried to watercolor for the first time ever a few months back? (If you missed it, you can find it here.) Well, I kept practicing and practicing and was finally able to come up with a few pieces of art that I’m proud of which just happen to feature my second favorite holiday (shout out to Thanksgiving, my one true homie.) Christmas Cards

I had a lot of fun making these, and they definitely helped get me ready for the Holiday Season (while also helping me procrastinate studying for my finals). I collaborated with my amazing friend Hilliary Hallman who did the lettering and all the computer work on these. (Didn’t she do an amazing job? As always!)

 

If you’d like to purchase the digital copies or cardstock copies of these 5 x 7 cards you can do so in my etsy shop. 🙂

If you’re in the Birmingham Area, we’ll wave the shipping cost! Just use the code BHAMSHIPPING15

Want the digital copy? Use the code COLORINGCHRISTMAS for $1 off!

Let this be a lesson that sometimes trying new things ends up being a good idea. (I said sometimes.)

So, go paint or knit or write a song. Surprise yourself. May your sweaters be tacky and your coffee warm.

 

Songs

The Second Adam (Mary Consoles Eve)

MCE pic

Hey Friends! I have a new song that I wrote for the christmas season. It’s called “The Second Adam (Mary Consoles Eve). I don’t consider myself a musician (at all) but I truly did enjoy writing  this song. I’ve been captivated by Grace Remington’s painting for a few years now, so it was a joy to bring words to her painting. My hope for you is that, through this song, you may see the Hope of your redemption, that you may know that, despite your sin, your God still comes in search of you. That is the story of Christmas. Your God comes for you so that you may be His forever. Glory to God in the Highest.

https://youtu.be/YyeV8XIRPtY

VS1

Do you remember in the Garden the day your innocence died

You took the apple for yourself, believed the Serpent’s lies.

The ground shook beneath you, opened a cavern between

so You and Your God no longer could convene

The fellowship you once shared with your Maker now gone

You were left to carry shame and mourn for what you’d lost

But look, He has come to walk among you once again

to be bridge across the cavern you created with your sin

Chorus

He is your second Adam, the very son of Man

He has conquered your temptation,

crushed the snake that bit your hand

Son of God and Son of David

As the eternal King he reigns

He has brought down the mighty

exalted those of humble state

So let that snake uncoil, you are no longer bound

Rejoice with me, My Mother, for our Messiah has come down

VS2

Come close now and place your hand upon my growing weight

Feel the Hope of Glory born to restore your broken faith.

Your God has not left you in this world that you cursed

For from my very womb, your Messiah shall be birthed.

He came for you in the Garden, and He comes for you now

No evil could stop incarnate Love from coming down

All that once was lost in abundance shall be found

The fellowship restored and the curse be unbound

Bridge

He comes now in victory. Kings and rulers take Heed

You will not stand against Him so come fall at his feet

Let the downcast find joy, the hungry be filled

Rejoice, all ye Israel, your God remembers you still

Ramblings · Uncategorized

Reading New Adventures

The Holidays are a magical time for reading. There’s nothing like pulling away from all the parties and curling up with a good book. I usually reread a favorite, maybe one (or five) of the Harry Potter or Narnia books. I still get a little weepy when Harry first sees Hagrid tap on the brick wall and Diagon Alley opens up before him. My heart will always soar when Narnia thinks all is lost in the Battle against the White Witch, but then Aslan comes up over the Hill and descends upon the Valley with thousands of warriors in tow.

However, I challenged myself this summer to find new books to read. Books just as full of all the magic and adventure, and I found several I would like to recommend to you now. Put simply, they’re amazing. And I’d be honored if you would read them this Holiday season. These are in order of my favorites, and all of them and wonderfully appropriate for children (with the exception of the Shiloh series which I would say is geared for teenagers/young adults). Go on a new adventure this year. It’s worth it, I promise.

1.The Wingfeather Saga by Andrew Peterson There are four books total.

Start with the first one: On the Edge of the Dark Sea of Darkness. But make me a promise, you’ll read through the first two books before you stop. This series is the one I recommend the friends the most, but they always stop after the first book. And truthfully, the first book reads rather slowly. But somewhere in the second book, Peterson finds his rhythm and it’s become my favorite series. You read that right. The girl with Aslan tattooed on her ankle has a new favorite series.

Without giving too much away, this is the story of 3 siblings who embark upon the adventure of a lifetime to discover who they truly are. It’s truthful, hilarious, and heart-wrenchingly beautiful.

2. The Green Ember by S.D. Smith

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You can find a copy of on Amazon, or at the Author’s blog, the Story Warren

This book is hands down the most charming book I have ever had the pleasure of reading. It follows two small rabbits on the brink of a war as they are forced to choose between the destruction their family helped bring into being or following the True Heir to healing and restoration.

3. Tales of the Kingdom by David and Karen Mains 

Start with the Tales of the Kingdomthe first book in the trilogy. These books are quite different from any other books I’ve read. Each chapter reads like a short story, all of them eventually being woven together to form a complete story line. It’s unapologetically allegorical, the main character’s name being… wait for it… Hero. But the Mains have found a way to retell the Gospel story as a fairytale, and they will not disappoint you.

4. The Shiloh Series by Helena Sorenson 

***Shiloh is actually available for free right now at Amazon if you sue you Kindle Reading App.

Helena Sorenson might be one of my new favorite writers. I discovered her about 10 days ago, and read through her entire series since then. She truly has a way with words. Her creation narrative alone (found in the prologue of Shiloh)  is the most beautiful piece I’ve read in quite some time. Her entire world is based off the Light and Dark imagery, where a Shadow looms over an entire world and the sun hasn’t been seen in so long it is believed to be a myth. The Heroes are unexpected, and the story reminded me that Hope can and must shine in the darkest of moments of my life.

5. The Black Star of Kingston by S.D. Smith

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Black Star is actually a prequel to Smith’s first book The Green Ember that I mentioned earlier. It’s shorter and can be easily read in 3-4 hours. It’s full of pirates and refugees, builders and armies. It’s a 7 year old boys dream (and maybe a 24 year old’s as well). Smith is once again, extremely charming while creating dynamic characters that you will mourn and rejoice alongside. “My place beside you. My blood for yours. Till the Green Ember rises or the end of the World. “

What I’ll be reading this Holiday Season

These books come highly recommended by Helena Sorenson, whose books I just finished reading, and I am so incredibly excited to delve into them as soon as I finish the post.

The Queen’s Thief Series by Megan Walen Turner 

Publishers Weekly describes says of the first book in the Series, The Thief“I can steal anything.” So declares Gen, the hero of the Newbery Honor Book The Thief—an exciting adventure fantasy set in a mythical land rich with intrigue. Gen’s bragging lands him in prison . . . but then the king’s magus needs the thief’s skill for a near-impossible task: to steal a priceless magical jewel from a faraway land. “In addition to its charismatic hero, this story possesses one of the most valuable treasures of all—a twinkling jewel of a surprise ending.”

 

Spoken Word

Anxiety

What if I wrote a poem about my anxiety attacks? I said to myself one day.

The funny thing is, I  actually thought it was a good idea until now.

But, it’s too late and I’ve spent too long pouring over each and every word to make sure it’s as close to perfect as I can manage, so here goes vulnerability. I’ve struggled off and on with Anxiety for about 2 1/2 years now. Change and I aren’t the best of friends (if she’s walking down one sidewalk, I will jaywalk across 6 lanes of traffic to get to the other side so that I don’t have to run into her). Roughly 3 weeks before I graduated colleges in 2013, things started to get messy. Things meaning me. I was a mess. I ate PB&Js for 2 weeks straight (all meals) because I couldn’t force myself to eat anything else. I had a full time job that I adored lined up for the summer, and Graduate School after that, but I just didn’t want to leave the city that became my first home and the friends that loved me like family. That’s when the anxiety attacks came. Over the years, I’ve gone to several counselors (and still am now) that have helped me learn to manage and even stave off the anxiety . It’s been a extremely difficult, but really amazing (just not at the same time). 

This poem obviously reflects the darker side of progress, but as my favorite author Andrew Peterson always says, “it’s always darkest before the dawn.”

Anxiety

I fill these hands to empty my mind.
Weave. Write. Work. Make. Do.
Make do.

But I can’t ignore that I’m waning with each new breath.
How long until I suffocate here on dry land?
How long until my lung refuse to fill?
No, don’t think about that.
Weave.Write. Work. Make. Do.
Make do.

Through the windows, the darkness enters
and I can’t find a match.
I tell myself to keep trying.
I will my hands to move,
to fumble through pattens weaved in this chaos.
trying to make these knots curve right.
My fists wrap tighter and tighter ’round these rods of iron
but I keep finding holes in my work.

War drums beat within my chest,
and I know the enemy is nearing.
It’s inside my own flesh.
I cover my eyes to shield the darkness,
but we all know that’s not how darkness works.
It follows you into your hiding,
so you must learn to fight your way into the light.

So, I uncurl myself from this cocoon
stepping out to take hold of the ancient book
And as my hands grasp hold of it’s pages,
my heart begins to cling to the Word I find within.
My eyes scanning black lines to search for you,
just trying to imagine you there in living color.
I am willing you to come out of these pages-
willing these words to form your very flesh

Like the match that I was missing
You strike yourself against my sole.
Light penetrates my darkness, illuminating your form
I see you.
And this ever growing flame is soaking up the oxygen
but somehow I’m finding it easier to breathe.

Ramblings

Why I Love Knitting

So, I haven’t done a post yet about Knitting.
Probably because I get made of fun for it.
All. The. Time. (See if you get a scarf for Christmas, Philip)

But it’s what I’ve been spending a lot of time doing lately. School is crazy and when I’m not studying (or working), I just want my mind is numb. You know how TV is supposed to leave your mind in a vegetative state? Well, that sounds spiritual right now. The idea of turning off my mind a just relaxing… oh man… that’s better than chocolate cake without calories.

So, I’ve turned to knitting as my craft of choice right now. There is just something about picking up those needles and thread that usher in the literal calming presence of Jesus. It’s how I am able to get a way from the world for a while. As much as I like the idea of packing an extra pair of clothes and leaving the world behind for a few days, I’d be just as happy sitting on my couch watching Cinderella and knitting all weekend (which actually happened last weekend).

Yes, I know how lame that sounds.
No one ever called me adventurous.

Knitting is an escape for me. Picking up those needles forces me to drop everything else I’m carrying. And that’s the power of creating for me. It’s a place of peace and rest. Sometimes that means setting aside my thoughts to pick up yarn and needles. And other times that means bringing my thoughts to the table as a means to process them through word or song. Either way, it is a time of rest and relief for which I am grateful.

 And because this post wasn’t originally intended to be a rant, Here’s a little bit of what I’ve been working on. Alabama has finally started getting a little cool (between the hours of 7pm and 8am at least) and scarves and sweaters can finally removed from storage (even if we sweat a little while wearing them). And so I’ve already knit two scarves this season- one for me and one for a friend.

IMG_7830-0
When the scarf ends up being taller than you, you know it’s gonna get you all those warm and cozy feelings.
This scarf took me over 15 hours to make, but doesn’t my bestie looked amazing. Totally worth it.
And because I loved the scarf so much, I made a headband version of it for myself.

The headband is available in my etsy shop. 

And because you guys are my favorites, get 20% any item using the code #CreateInMe365

Spoken Word

Psalm of Lament

Have you ever felt like the Lord gave you a dream, or a passion to do something, and you’re all in.

“Yes Father. Let’s do this. I’m ready. Pick me.”

You can see the finish line, “the promised land” if you will, and you know you can make it there. And then everything goes wrong, and you feel as if you’ve been teleported to a place 576 miles from where you were before, and it’s 576 miles in the wrong direction. When the Israelites sent spies into the Promised Land, it must have felt so close. They were finally ready to cash in on the Lord’s promise after all this time. But then the spies came back and they were afraid of the people groups already in the Land. And they feared these men more than they trusted the Lord who had brought them out of Egypt. Just like that, the Promise was taken from them, and they wandered in the wasteland for forty more year. That’s how I feel sometimes, you know? I begin to doubt what I know to be true about The Lord and who He is. And so I come before Him and boldly ask, “What are you doing here, Father?”

A Psalm of Lament 

You gave me visions of honey;
By your hand have I tasted the sweetness of freedom.
I danced for joy and sang your praises
sweet praises to Yahweh for his faithful love.

We walked across this empty space together
this place of eager expectation;
And you showed me all that you had promised.
Yes,on the other bank laid all that I had longed for.
Across the river you pointed out of the wealth
of this land flowing with milk and honey.
My hand grasped at all that I saw;
my mouth watered for what would soon be mine.

But then we turned to wander in the wasteland,
and You led me away from what my soul desired.
Why, oh Lord, do you torment me so?
Why, faithful Yahweh, do you taunt me?
Did you bring me out to the desert to die?
Will I wander here for the rest of my life?
Is 40 years my punishment?
Was this in your plan all along?
Was what I saw only a mirage?
Or will I ever taste of what I have seen?

{pause and remember}

Still, I have followed you across this desert,
and I will follow you through it once again.
You, oh Lord, are my guiding light;
Without you I know not which foot to step with next.
And should I wander in this waiting land with you forever,
It will be enough.
You, oh Lord, are far more glorious;
You are worth more to me than all riches and pleasures.
This waste land has become an oasis in your presence;
And out of rocks, you have brought fresh water.
You have provided the manna.
You have provided with your presence.
And You are enough.

Ramblings

Something New 

     Tonight, I tried watercolor painting for the very first time. I’ve been wanting to try it for almost 2 months now, but it just seemed like such a daunting task. Starting something completely new is scary (at least for me) because I knew I wouldn’t be good at it. So, I put it off, afraid of my own imperfections.

But tonight, my mind needed rest, and my anxiety needed an outlet. I finally stopped caring about wether my “finished product” would be good enough. I just wanted to enjoy the process of creating. So, I went on Pinterest, found a tutorial for watercolor flowers are here I am- 30 minutes later- with my first watercolor painting, and a mind at ease after a long, hard week of life. Visual arts are where I am least competent as an artist, but that shouldn’t keep me from it. I can not be afraid of my imperfections. I can not be afraid of learning. And so, I hope this is the first of many watercolor paintings.

This isn’t about perfection, but about learning to see the beauty in my imperfections and my mistakes. This process of creating is teaching me to be okay with my shortcomings, so that I may delight that- in Christ-  what I have to offer is enough.

*These are the late night ramblings off a sleep deprived crazy person. If none of this makes sense, ignore it completely. 

Songs

Battlecry

This is an original song I wrote, with my bestie Lauren Wolfe accompanying me. We had a lot of fun recording this.And it was especially meaningful to have my best friend put a piano to it, and make it her own. Lauren Wolfe, I’m glad I know you.

http://https://youtu.be/ly7fYsHKfCc

Chords and Lyrics

Em       C

With warriors wounded weapons dull

    G

we bow as beggars before your throne

D

there’s no one left to fight for us

  Em

O King, will you rescue us

      C

The enemy has come for war

    G

against our armies, against you Lord

D

Will you come and save this day?

Em C

Will you come and be our strength?

chorus: 

Em C

We will raise a battle cry

        G

though valleys low and mountains high

  D

it shall be heard by those who fear

        Em

All ye saints, draw near

        C

your king will fight you this day

G

our enemy he’ll surely slay

      D

Come stand before the camp and sing

Em C G D

All glory to the King.

verse 2

Em   C

This battles’  waged for far too long

        G

and all around our warriors fall

    D

we have no strength or hope in sight

Em

we will die before the night

      C

But lo behold we see him there

    G

Riding a horse white and fair

      D

Our conquering king has won the fight

    Em   C

and he’s raising dead to life. (x2)

Bridge:

Rise up ye dead men, take your swords

to praise our King, the One true Lord.

Our strong defender-the Great I am-

He’s the Roaring Lion and the Spotless Lamb (x3)